


Sorta Snow White

by Winter_Gray



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Humor, M/M, Sex, Slut Sam, Virgin Dean
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-05-24
Updated: 2014-06-05
Packaged: 2018-01-26 07:37:59
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 8,660
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1680143
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Winter_Gray/pseuds/Winter_Gray
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sorta Snow White aka Prince Dean Winchester is holding out for a ring on his finger before he gives up his virtue. Prince Charming Sam Campbell is a booty hound that's bedded every pretty boy in his kingdom. An evil queen, a poison apple, 7 dwarves, a huntsman, a curse, a kiss & lots of sex between Sam & Dean. Gabriel as the sarcastic Magic Mirror. 2nd in my Fractured Fairytale Series.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

Once upon a time there was a young, virtuous and very handsome Prince named Sorta Snow White but he was called Dean for short.  
He drove all the village people crazy with his penchant for denim cut offs. Prince Dean Winchester had a royal rump worthy of riding. Unfortunately for them the gates to that garden of delights were sealed shut until someone put a ring on his finger.  
Dean had many hobbies like soap carving, bonsai gardening and he recently started his own microbrewery called Bootylicious Brew. The label had Dean looking over his shoulder with his charms prominently displayed in cut offs. It was a best seller at all the liquor stores in the kingdom more for the label and less for the taste.  
The prince’s true passion was anything to do with apples. Since he was a wee one Dean loved to bake with his mother and he always insisted on using apples. He was one young man that couldn’t turn one down.  
Before his mother died she warned Dean that his love of succulent, tender fruits would get him in trouble. He took that not in the way she intended. After that Dean vowed he would keep himself intact. Mary had been talking about apples.  
……………..  
Several years after his beloved wife died handsome and lonely father King John held a grand ball with invitations sent to all the eligible young women in the kingdom. He didn’t care about status; John wanted a woman with beauty, purity, kindness and an honest heart. Mostly John wanted beauty and he figured the rest would come with the package. John wasn’t very bright.  
At the ball two ladies caught his fancy; one was a tall, slender young woman with hair the color of fire named Abby. The second was a young woman whose name doesn’t really matter because she was found stabbed to death in the cloak room.  
Abby had a hell of a time getting the blood stains out of her gown but it’s amazing what some club soda, little elbow grease and determination will do.  
……………  
John was smitten and it was a whirlwind romance. The couple wed just a short time later against Dean’s protests.  
The Kingdom of Winchester now had a new Queen. Abby seemed pleasant and kind. Dean tried his best to get along with his new step-mother but he had suspicions she was a power hungry witch. Still to keep his father happy the prince with the perky bottom treated Abby with civility.  
……………..  
There was a kingdom not far away ruled by the royal Campbells. The kingdom was very prosperous due to their export of fine canned soups to other kingdoms.  
The soup labels had a picture of gorgeous Prince Sam reclining on a bed of fresh produce, holding a chicken and his royal bits covered by a giant eggplant. On another he sat naked upon a cow with a zucchini in one hand and a carrot in the other.  
The company motto was printed underneath each label, “A meal fit for a prince!”  
King Robert and Queen Ellen found their young, attractive and oversexed son a handful. For his eighteenth birthday he insisted on getting a big gold pendent that spelled out “SLUT” studded in diamonds.  
Sam loved booty; there was nothing better than a shapely rear end to get the princes libido in over drive but sadly he found not one boy in the entire kingdom that had the right proportions.  
He had deflowered every pretty virgin he could find and still he went to bed alone each night. Mostly because when he was done poking his latest conquest Sam unceremoniously kicked the lad right out of his bed and told him to hit the road.  
……………..  
On this particular day Prince Sam was at a ribbon cutting ceremony for the new wing of the factory that would be producing only very chunky soups. He was holding a ridiculously big scissors in one hand and eating an apple with the other as he perused the crowd from the stage looking for his next conquest.  
Sam knew not one of them could hold his interest long enough to court and marry. Now his parents were pressuring him to pick someone but he refused.  
King Robert looked out at the crowd of happy people trying to spot a young man that might catch his son’s fancy, he pointed to a bright eyed blonde, “Sam what about that one?”  
Sam rolled his eyes, “I’ve had him over every piece of furniture in the castle. He is what you call…oh what is the word I’m looking for…slut! Yes that’s it, he is a slut.  
“Really Sam you’re so rude sometimes, by extension doesn’t that make you a slut?”  
Sam tossed his head back and let out a hearty laugh, “That’s what the pendent says.” The blonde waved to Sam from the crowd. “Hey dad, one more ride on that boy and I’ll need a miner’s hat in case I fall in. You know, because he’s cavernous.”  
Robert growled, “I have had it with your antics! You will find a suitable mate in a timely fashion or I will pick one for you. I want grandbabies damn it!”  
Sam gestured toward the crowd, “Oh I’m sure there are plenty running around the kingdom, take your pick.”  
“No smartass, I want a legitimate heir and your butt nailed down to one man. He must be lovely and fertile.”  
Sam hefted the giant scissors in the air and the crowd went wild, “He better be able to put up with me. I want a sassy virgin with a plump, delicious ass.”  
The prince leaned down and spoke into the microphone, “Are ya’ll ready for some chunky soup?” The crowd shouted, “Yeah!”  
Sam let out a loud whoop, cut the ribbon then did a fist pump, “Yeah baby! Any hot guys out there come meet me around back cause I got royal seed that needs expelling!”  
Queen Ellen shook her head sadly, “Robert our son is so wild…I’m afraid it’s going to take someone special to settle him down.”  
…………  
Dean winked at himself in the mirror and declared, “Dean Winchester you are pretty damn special.” He turned around and admired his virgin fanny in the mirror, “No one is gonna ride this royal rump without a ring on my finger!” He slapped it enjoying the nice jiggle and then got dressed for dinner.  
………….  
Queen Abby stood in front of the huge gilded mirror in her bedchamber, “Mirror Mirror on the wall, who is the fairest of them all?”  
Gabriel, making a guest appearance as the magic mirror appeared as a floating head, “Sorta Snow White is the fairest of them all…sorry baby.”  
Abby hissed, “No that can’t be, I’m the fairest of them all! This is what I get for purchasing a mirror from the Ye Olde Allmart.”  
Gabriel scowled at the queen, “Hey don’t blame the mirror, I’m your advisor. It doesn’t matter what cheap ass frame you put me in I speak the truth you old witch.”  
She gave her magical advisor a petulant look, “Well I don’t believe it, how could Dean be better looking than me?”  
“Have you seen the kid? Once he turned sixteen it was like BAM…hot, oh so very, very hot and tasty! If I had a lower half I’d take a swing at that ass in a heartbeat. You, not so much.”  
Abby punched the mirror cracking it, “Damn it Gabe shut your piehole!” Now there were at least a dozen tiny Gabriel heads laughing at her, “Wow you really need some anger management baby.” She tossed a blanket over the frame then sat at her dressing table to primp for dinner.  
Gabriel popped up in that mirror as well, “Surprise! You have stress lines crabby Abby, the king wont like that.”  
She stormed out of the room wishing she never would have created him in the first place.  
……………  
The queen sat there watching Dean eating a bowl of soup before the main course, “This stuff is great! You know they opened a chunky division in the Kingdom of Campbell.”  
John sipped his chalice of wine, “Oh yes I saw the billboard with Prince Sam holding up a can. That boy is so handsome he could sell ice to people that live in a climate where there is a lot of ice to be had,” he took another sip, “but they purchase the ice anyway because Sam is attractive.”  
Suddenly John turned red and began coughing; he fell from his chair and landed on the floor deader than a doornail.  
…………..  
King Robert hurried into the room waving a letter, “Sam I need you to do damage control, King Winchester died while eating our meat and veg soup!”  
Sam had a foot planted between his legs getting a toe job from a new servant boy, “Why do I have to go?”  
“Because the prince is having an inquiry into his father’s death and I want you to reassure him our soup has nothing to do with it.”  
“Oh father, not another unattractive male. I have a very hard time being Prince Charming to a beast of a boy.”  
His father handed him a bottle of Bootylicious Beer, “There…that is the prince you will be discussing matters with.” Sam’s eyes opened wide and a naughty smile crossed his lips, “Consider it done!”  
…………….  
Abby watched from the balcony along with her hand mirror so Gabriel could observe. Dean was crying while he worked on his memorial bonsai tree for his father.  
“Look at him…bending over in those shorts like his ass was a party favor. Gabe what can I do about him? Another soup related death would be so suspicious but the kingdom goes to him on his next birthday.”  
Gabriel was watching Dean as he bent over carefully trimming a tiny branch, “What…did you say something? I was busy watching the fairest of them all.”  
The queen went to smash the hand mirror, “Oh you are useless!”  
Gabriel shouted, “Wait! Just cool your jets baby, let daddy think…um…oh send him to the village for something and then have your bravest huntsman kill Dean and bring back his heart as proof he’s dead.”  
Abby kissed the mirror, “Gabe what would I do without you?”  
He frowned, peeking over the top of the smear, “What color is that, Gutter Bitch?”  
Abby tossed the mirror over the balcony and walked away humming a happy tune. She had a plan now and sent for her bravest huntsman.  
TBC


	2. Honey Pot

A/N A little nod to Young Frankenstein in this chapter. If you’ve seen the movie you will know what I mean.

Sam pulled up in his shiny black coach, the royal page Alfie hopped out and held open the door for him.   
Sam was dressed to kill or at least get laid. He wore hip skimming jeans and a tight white tank top chopped off to flash his rock hard abs. It said “Daddy” in bold letters across the front. This was a nod to all the sweet young things that screamed “Daddy harder!” when Sam was giving them a nice poke right up the chimney.  
It also was due to the fact that Sam didn’t wear condoms and had little Campbell soup kids running around the place. He figured it was the bottoms responsibility to take care of birth control and if the young man didn’t then he was lucky to pop out a baby with such a good looking father.  
Alfie whipped out a lace handkerchief and delicately dabbed the corners of his mouth after allowing the prince to spend his seed down Alfie’s gullet.   
The prince bent down and licked the pages lips, “Missed a spot.” Alfie was totally taken with Sam’s beauty, “Sire if you need anything else,” the young blonde winked, “and I mean anything, just ask.”  
Sam looked at the label on the beer bottle he brought with him, “No, I think I’ll be ok. You gave great head kid but I have someone else in mind.”  
Alfie began pouting, “I was nothing but a sex toy.”  
Sam patted the page on the rear, “Yeah but you were sure fun. Cheer up; if this doesn’t pan out I can give you a hard fuck on the ride back. Now go sit in the coach and wait like a good boy.”  
“Ok Prince Sam your swell!” The wide eyed worshipper hurried back to the coach.  
Sam adjusted his jewels, put on his Dolce and Gabanna sunglasses and although the prince wasn’t aware of it, he was headed toward his destiny.  
…………..  
Sam take long strides all the way to the huge doors of the castle. He grabbed both giant iron door knockers attached to ornate gargoyle heads, banged them both and Queen Abby answered the door.   
Sam exclaimed, “What knockers!”  
The Queen looked down at her ample cleavage then gave the handsome stranger a smile, “Why thank you!”  
Sam gagged a little when he looked at the pert, creamy mounds stuffed into the tight bodice, “Sweetie you are so barking up the wrong tree. I am Prince Sam Campbell come to discuss the soup incident.”   
Abby snapped, “There is no incident, my husband choked to death, case closed. Dean is in the garden if that is who you’re looking for. Most handsome men are looking for Dean…sniffing around his virgin honey pot like perverted drone bees, it’s disgusting.”   
Dean waved wildly toward Sam and yelled, “Hey you’re the babe from the soup can!”  
Sam lowered his sunglasses and took a gander at Dean. He was dressed in cut offs so tiny that his manly area was peeking out the bottom. He was barefoot and wearing a tight, white t shirt that showed off his perky nipples.   
Sam hurried right over, grabbed Deans hand and kissed it, “The Bootylicious beer label doesn’t do you justice my lovely Prince.”  
Dean blushed brightly, “I’m Sorta Snow White but you can call me Dean.”  
Sam took a deep bow, “I’m Prince Charming but everyone calls me Sam. Turn around so I can get a good look at your ass. I have to get married soon and I think you are the young man I’ve been looking for but I can’t be sure until I see your candy counter.”  
Sam was also known as “Jerk Charming”, “Prince Not Charming At All”, and “Prince Whore” but mostly “Baby Daddy.” He didn’t possess a censor button as he just revealed to Dean.  
“I will do no such thing you giant pervert! I am working on my father’s memorial bonsai tree because your soup killed him so if you will excuse me, I have work to do.”  
Sam folded his arms and looked down at the pretty prince, “Oh really, did anyone else die after eating our soup?”  
“Well no.”  
“Then your daddy got a dose of inheritance powder or like the boobage queen said, he choked.”  
Dean wiped the tears from his eyes and looked over that the castle shooting mental daggers at the queen, “So she says, I don’t trust her…I’m sorry I don’t want to talk about this now.”  
He was going to leave but Sam backed him against a flowering crab apple tree, “Forgive me for being so forward but that’s the only direction I go. Are you engage or seeing anyone?”  
Dean tried to duck under his arm but was blocked, “I got a list of suitors a mile long. Real gentlemen, not like you.”  
“Dean you will find that gentlemen are overrated and boring, you look like someone that likes a little excitement and once I crack the seal on that glorious rump of yours I think you’ll beg for my charms.”  
Dean slapped him across the face, “The nerve of you! Just because your one smokin’ hot babe doesn’t mean I’m going to bend over and let you do what you want. I’m saving my virtue for marriage; dad always said why buy the cow of the milk is free.”  
Sam purred, “ I want you and all the milk you can give me.”  
Dean tried to shove him back but the tall, strong prince didn’t budge an inch and Dean was becoming more exasperated by the second, “Look Sam, I want a faithful husband that can be a good father to our children.”  
Sam was fascinated by the fiery, green eyed virgin and now had his heart set on having Dean Winchester as his own. Never had a boy made his palms sweat his heart beat wildly in his chest or set his loins on fire like the one before him. Unless you count the time Sam went to the free clinic for an STD after a sexual encounter with the Butter King at the village fair.  
“Dean I can be faithful and…what was the second part?”  
“Be a good father to our children.”  
“Yeah, I can give that a shot.”  
Dean snorted, “Doubtful.”  
Sam tried to think of a way to show Dean he had true feelings for him that could possibly be love, “I want this to be very special…how do I properly court someone like you?”  
Dean shrugged, “I don’t know, carriage rides, candy, flowers or maybe tickets to Cabaret I’ve always wanted to see that, I’m a real song and dance man.”  
Sam snapped his fingers as he normally does when a bright idea comes to him, “I know, I’ll name a chunky soup after you! How about rump roast and root veggies?”  
“Um…well I guess, so you don’t like musicals then?”  
“Say it with soup, that’s my motto Dean.”  
Sam took off his SLUT pendent and gave it do Dean, “Keep this expensive piece of jewelry as a token of my intentions until I can buy you a proper engagement ring.”  
Sam started heading back for the coach. Dean yelled, “Hey so are you my fiancée, do you love me?”  
Sam yelled back, “Yes!”  
“Awesome, same for me!”  
Dean just has the most remarkable encounter of his young life. He sadly watched the coach leave but hoped Sam came back for him soon.   
……………..  
Abby drummed her nails on the table top as the huntsman outlined his plan to kill Dean. It was simple, an arrow through the heart.  
She set something down on the table, “I want you to cut his heart out and bring it me in this.”  
Derrick picked up the gilded chest, on the outside was engraved on a plaque, “Sorta Snow White’s Heart.”  
The huntsman thought that was a bit odd, “Let me get this straight, you had this made overnight?”  
Abby tapped the heart shaped ruby on the top with a fingernail of the same color, “Oh no, I’ve dreamt of having his heart cut out for a very long time.”  
Derrick slipped the chest in a bag, “My lovely Queen don’t be cross with me for suggesting this but perhaps you should take up a hobby to occupy your time instead of plotting against such an innocent young man.”  
She snapped, “Dean isn’t the only one with outside interests. I am the proud founder of “Bitches Without Boarders” my foundation supplies poorer kingdoms with evil step-mothers, wicked witches, corrupt royalty, monsters and all sorts of bad things. After all, you can’t have a fairytale without an antagonist correct?”  
Derrick agreed, “Yes that makes perfect sense. You awful creatures are what keep the rest of us working. Queen Abby you are a true humanitarian.”   
……………..  
Dean hurried into the room out of breath and grinning from ear to ear, “I got a beau!” Abby gave him the kindest smile she could force, “How wonderful. Dean when you get back from the village we can talk all about it.”  
“Why do I have to go?”  
“Because sweetheart I have something I need picked up from the jewelers and I only trust you. Don’t worry I’ll send Derrick with you and I’m sure you will be back before nightfall.”  
Dean was still on a love high and agreed to do something he normally wouldn’t have for someone he didn’t trust nor like.   
As soon as Dean turned twenty one or married, the entire kingdom was his. Abby would never stand for this and she hoped by nightfall she would have his pure heart in a gilded chest so she could gloat over her prize.  
……………..  
Derrick walked several yards behind Dean; it was pleasant enough because the huntsman had a delectable view of the princely bottom encased in black leather pants. Dean was cheerfully talking about his brief but wonderful interlude with Sam Campbell and the more he spoke the less Derrick wanted to follow through with the evil queens plan.  
Dean stopped at a wild apple tree and plucked a ripe apple, “Do you have a knife?”  
Derrick hesitated but then gave Dean his hunting knife; the prince cut a bad spot off the apple and then took a bite. He offered some to Derrick; the prince was smiling so sweetly the huntsman cried out, “I can’t do it!”  
“Do what?”  
The huntsman bowed his head in shame, “Kill you…Abby wants you dead.” Dean tried to bolt but Derrick grabbed his arm, “Listen to me Prince Winchester, you must never go back to the kingdom. I will let her believe I killed you. You will lose everything but at least you’ll live.”  
Dean jerked his arm away and started backing away, “How could she do this? She did poison my father!” Derrick growled, “Leave my sight before I change my mind.”  
Dean ran as fast as he could deep in the forbidden forest.  
…………..  
Derrick spent the rest of the day hunting until he came across a stag drinking from a stream. He took aim and hit the magnificent creature bringing it down. After removing the animal’s heart he wrapped it in a scrape of fabric from his cloak and placed it in the little chest then headed back to the castle.  
……..  
The coach bumped along the road but Sam hardly noticed a thing, he sat there with a big smile on his face as Alfie looked on with curiosity.   
“Why so happy my perfect Prince Sam?”  
“Oh Alfie it’s wonderful, I think I have actual feelings for someone!”  
Alfie was sitting there nude at Sam’s request; he was playing with himself hoping to excite the prince enough to make love to him. “Don’t you want to play with me?”  
Sam thought it over and came up with a solution, “I know, we can both masturbate, that way we both get off and I’m still being a gentleman right?”  
Alfie spit in the palm of his hand and started stroking, “Sure whatever you have to tell yourself.”  
The pair had a spirited mutual frigging until they painted each other with spunk.   
………………  
Dean ran himself to exhaustion then collapsed by a stream and fell asleep on a bed of moss. Sometime later his sleep was intruded by the sound of voices and when Dean opened his eyes there were seven men staring down at him.  
Dean blew his rape whistle and starting screaming, “Help I’m surrounded by voyeuristic little perverts!”   
Several started snickering and one grumped, “Don’t flatter yourself sister, you’re not all that. Besides you’re the one wearing a slut pendent.”  
He sat and addressed the group, “Oh really, I’ll have you know I’m very desirable. You would be quite lucky to get the chance to molest me.”  
The grumpy one rolled his eyes, “Yeah I’ll have to take your word for it.”  
A friendly looking man with a red beard bowed to Dean, “Allow me to introduce myself and my friends. We are the nice looking men of short stature.”  
…………….  
Abby received the chest containing the stag heart; she raised it above her head and started cackling. “I have the heart of Sorta Snow White!” The huntsman began edging his way toward the door, “I’ll be taking my leave now.”  
Abby tossed him a bag of coins, “Thank you Derrick now I shall rule with an iron fist, the peasants will bow before their queen!” She started cackling again even louder until it echoed down the stone passageways.  
Derrick got as far away from the castle as he could.  
………………  
The evil queen sat there on her throne stroking the chest with her long, pale fingers and giggling to herself.   
Gabe appeared in the huge, gilded mirror across from her, “You know that heart is starting to stink. You’ve been rubbing your box for hours.”  
“Oh shut up you buzzkill, let me enjoy my victory.”  
Gabe eyed the chest, “So let me see it.”  
“No, I want to feel it up some more then you can see it.”  
“You didn’t even check to see if there’s a heart in there did you?”  
Abby flipped the latch and lifted the lid, “There mister smarty pants, a virgin heart.”  
Gabe burst out laughing, “Yeah a virgin stag! Poor guy never got laid before he died. I can tell you that is not human.”  
Abby dropped to her knees and screamed, “Nooo!” There were a lot more o’s and exclamation points but in the interest of moving on with the story I’ll leave it at that for now.  
…………..  
Will Dean’s love of apples get him in trouble? Will the seven nice looking men of short stature find him such a pain in the butt that they kick Dean out of their cottage or will they embrace him as one of their own even though he’s six feet tall?  
Will Sam stop being such a slut? Will he search for his one true love and finally get a crack at Dean’s candy counter?  
What will the queen stop stroking her box and will she rein in her urge to smash every mirror in the kingdom? Will Gabe find true love with the compact mirror in Abby’s purse?  
Stay tuned dear readers.  
TBC


	3. Cream of Sam

The seven attractive men of short statue stepped forward one by one and told Dean a little about themselves. He probably could have figured that out by their names.  
The grumpy one wasn’t named grumpy at all, his name was Jackhole because he was a real jackhole. “Call me Jack for short.” Dean snorted then broke into a fit of giggles, “Short.”  
Jack mocked the prince, “hahaha so damn funny right? Well at least I’m not a fairy princess prancing through the woods wearing a SLUT pendent.”  
“Hey Prince Charming gave me this so piss off you grumpy little shit.”  
The spokesman for the group stepped forward, “I’m called “Guy With Questionable Medical Credentials” but you can call me Doc.”  
The third stepped forward, or rather staggered forward smoking a pipe with very strange smelling tobacco wafting from it, “I’m Mary Jane…you can call me Mary Jane.”  
An especially adorable little gentleman in a top hat and tails stepped forward and blew Dean a kiss, “I’m Humpy but you can call me all yours you full size pretty boy.” Dean chuckled and gave him a wink which he would later regret, “Then you must be fun size.”  
“Mmm…I’m anything you want me to be.”  
The fifth stepped forward dressed like a hot little lumberjack, “I’m Brawny, no relation to the paper towel guy. If you need any wood taken care of I’m your fella.”  
Dean was having too much fun, he was going to make a comment about having wood but the guy was holding an axe and he thought better of it.  
The sixth stepped forward, he was very exotic with long dark hair and big brown eyes, “My given name is “Doe With Wide Stance” but everyone calls me Bitch.”  
Finally the seventh stepped forward; he did a pirouette while sipping a glass of free range apple cider. He pointed an artist’s brush toward Dean and announced, “I am “Pretentious Ass” but you can call me Princess.”  
Dean looked at Jack, Doc, Mary Jane, Humpy, Brawny, Bitch and Princess and figured it was better than living with his step-mother. “I’m Sorta Snow White but you guys can call me Dean.”  
……………..  
Dean’s clothes were in rags so when they got back to the cottage Princess got Dean a change of clothes. It was a dress with a yellow skirting, dark blue bodice, puffed sleeves and a white, stand up collar. Dean held up the garment, “These are chick clothes!”  
Princess tossed him a pair of sheer, pink panties, “Wear these, that last broad that stayed with us left them in a hurry.”  
“Why, did you try to molest her or something?”  
The seven men started snickering.  
Dean blew his rape whistle again, “I knew it! Freakin’ perverts…little rapey weirdoes!”  
Humpy licked his lips and gave Dean a predatory smile, “Dean we don’t take anything that isn’t given freely.”  
“Good because I’m virtuous and I got a fella already, in fact I bet Sam is looking for me right now.”  
…………………  
Sam stood on the table stripping as drunken men tossed coins, “You wanna see this ass you’re going to have to throw something better than coins!” Sam hoisted his flagon of ale and gulped the rest of it down. He tipped to the side and fell off the table.  
He was caught by a group of horny men and body surfed back to the bar after much fingering, kissing and groping. Finally on his feet Sam hung onto the bar and ordered another drink.  
Alfie sat there scowling at him, “You are a disgrace, don’t you like that virgin fellow?”  
Sam poked his finger repeatedly into the pages shoulder, “I don’t like him…I love him. I’m going to make him my wife just you wait and see, no more screwing around for this guy.” Sam hitched his thumb toward himself then began following a hot little number passing by.  
…………….  
“So what do you guys do here for fun and don’t say sex, I saw that giant sex bed of yours. No thanks.”  
Doc put on a miners helmet and grabbed a pickaxe, “Right now we are diamond miners. I think we might strike it rich.” Dean was intrigued, “I like sparkly things, can I come with you?”  
“No you stay here and get the cooking and cleaning done.”  
Dean grabbed a straw broom and started sweeping and doing a lot of grumbling.  
……………...  
Gabe was watching Abby primp, she had her pocket mirror out and it was beautiful. Silver and jewel encrusted, it was an object belonging to a real queen for sure. He was love struck, “Abby is that new?”  
“Yes, my jeweler just brought it by isn’t it stunning?”  
“Hubba hubba! I’d say, so what’s her name?”  
“What? Oh Gabe it’s only a pocket mirror, it’s not like there’s actually a woman…”  
Suddenly a lovely brunette appeared in the pocket mirror, “Hello…hello is someone talking to me?”  
Abby snapped it shut and put it in a drawer, Gabe was straining to see who it was but being stuck in a mirror meant there really wasn’t much he could do, “Hey I heard a woman’s voice. Come on baby cut me some slack, I do all the magic mirror crap for you, let a guy get his love connection on.”  
“No, I don’t want you distracted.”  
Gabe gave the queen his patented smirk, “Fine then I won’t tell you the rumor I heard.” Abby took the compact out, opened it then set it on a table facing Gabe, “There, now what is the rumor?”  
The brunette smiled up at him, “Hey there big boy my name is Meg, you got a big head.”  
Gabe winked at the little female image, “And that’s only from the neck up, you should see the rest of me. You’re a petite thing aren’t you Meg?”  
She made kissing noises until Abby threatened to shut her up again.  
“What is the rumor you gilded lothario?”  
Gabe was focused on the pretty lady Meg but kept his wits about him, “Oh yeah…Sorta Snow White isn’t all that far away from here. So you got problems, if only the pretty fool would have left the kingdom but apparently he’s living with a group of attractive men of short statue in the forest.”  
Abby stomped around the room breathing fire at every turn, “I’m going to get rid of him once and for all!” She stepped up to Gabe and said, “Mirror mirror on the wall who is the fairest of them all?”  
“Sorta Snow White, why do you think that’s going change?”  
Giggling came from the compact, “Is she always like this?”  
“Oh yeah a lot worse, the queen is like the vainest person I know.”  
Abby punched Gabe’s mirror crackling the glass and stormed out.  
Gabe bemoaned his fate but Meg saw the bright side, “Baby I like a man with scars, it gives you character.”  
…………………….  
The curtains were thrown open and Queen Ellen marched over to the bed and tossed back the covers, her son was naked with a boy of questionable age on top of him snoring. The room stunk of sex and the sheets were soaked with the remainder of a pint.  
She cracked the boy on the ass and the curly haired blonde jumped up. “How old are you?”  
He crawled off Sam and pulled the sheet around himself, “Old enough.”  
“Old enough to play ring around your rosie with my filthy whore of a son?”  
He bowed and then started gathering his clothing, “I…I’m sorry I’ll go.”  
Sam yawned as he scratched his balls then gave his mother a smile, “Don’t worry he’s sixteen…I think. Hey your sixteen right?”  
The boy scurried out of the room half dressed.  
“Sam what is wrong with you! I thought you had your eye on the Prince of Winchester.”  
“I do but he doesn’t answer any of my messages, I’m broken hearted mother and this is how I grieve. I’ve sent jewelry, flowers, candy, a crate of rump roast and root veggie soup, a pair of my musky boxers but nothing works. I sent a carriage for him and the queen told the carriage driver that Dean wouldn’t see me.”  
“Get off your royal ass and go see the lad, if you’re courting him do it in person.”  
That was a fresh and novel idea, “Thank you mother I’ll give it the old college try.”  
Ellen let out a long, exasperated sigh, “You never finished high school. I hope you marry this boy and start having babies, maybe he has brains and it will rub off on the children.”  
“I’m smart; I invent fantastic soups don’t I?”  
Ellen couldn’t dispute that, their new soup “Cream of Sam” was a best seller. The label had an X rating and it was kept behind the checkout counters at the grocery stores so as not to corrupt the children. In fact you had to show ID to even purchase a can but still it flew out of the stores like wildfire. They put a disclaimer on the back stating that there was no actual Sam cream in the soup.  
The prince suggested a gold label version that had actual Sam leavings in the soup and they were currently courting overseas investors for the project.  
……………..  
Somehow Meg got into Gabe’s mirror after he invited the lass to move in with him. The couple watched as Abby Sprinkled pixie dust made from real ground pixies onto some hot coals, the room filled with smoke and when it settled the queen was an old crone.  
She cackled and waved her hands in the air, “I will put a sleeping curse on Sorta Snow White and only the kiss of his true love with break it!”  
Gabe enjoyed pointing out all the flaws in her plan, “Why don’t you just kill him? You know that Prince Sam was sniffing around his butt like a hound on a coon, Dean is the fairest of them all and I don’t think he’s going to give up a booty like that very easily.  
Meg chimed in, “Stab him!”  
Abby pulled out a huge, juicy ripe apple, “I’ll give him this and one bite will put him in a permanent sleep.”  
Meg whispered to her glassy lover, “She really doesn’t listen does she?”  
They watched as the queen stumbled out the door to in search of Dean.  
TBC


	4. Happily Ever After

Humpy slid a piece of pie on a china plate over to Dean who was sitting there with a glum look on his face.  
“Why so sad beautiful?”  
Dean said between mouthfuls of pie, “First off get your hand off my crotch you mini pervert and second my love life is no business of yours.”  
Princess snickered, “Or lack of one…virgin.”  
Dean said proudly, “I wear my virginity like a badge of honor.” He opened the girl cape he was wearing, “in fact there it is.” There was a badge pinned on the bodice of his lady garment that said VIRGIN in big letters and done in diamonds much like Sam’s SLUT pendent.  
Humpy grabbed Princess and began molesting him in the most graphic ways, “I couldn’t stand being a virgin again, I love sexy time with my housemates and sometimes a stray forest creature.”  
Dean threw up a bit of pie in his throat and then grimly swallowed it again, “Animal sex? Ok I draw the line, that’s friggin’ sick!”  
He smacked Dean on the back of head, “What? No not animals unless you count the faun named Petie I bed on a regular basis. I mean magical forest creatures like fairies, fauns, giants, pixies…oh Dean the forest is filled with such marvelous creatures to sex up!”  
“No thanks, I’ll only bed one person in my life and that’s going to be my husband. In fact I’ve never been kissed.”  
All seven attractive men of short stature burst out in hearty laughter, Jack couldn’t imagine it was true. “I can’t believe someone like you has never been kissed! You’re full of applesauce.”  
Dean nodded solemnly, “It’s very true, boys want to kiss me all the time but I won’t allow it. Just because I’m handsome doesn’t mean I’m easy you know. I think that profiling and it’s wrong!”  
Doc held up his hands and gave Dean a placating smile, “Now, now Dean, everyone knows good looking males are notorious sluts.”  
“Says you, I got morals. I only wish Sam would find me…I know I’ll go to him!”  
“That wouldn’t be wise, you would be killed on the spot for the bounty and your carcass dragged back to the queen.”  
Doc handed Dean a poster with a sketch artists rendering of him, of course like most sketch artists drawings it looked nothing like Dean. It said, “Wanted, Prince Dean Winchester for crimes against the kingdom.”  
Dean got a good chuckle out of it, “This looks like Allen Hale from Gilligan’s Island!”  
Brawny looked over Deans shoulder at the poster, “Nope, Earnest Borgnine from McHale’s Navy.”  
The rest chimed in with their opinions, they came up with, “The dude that played in “Ironside”, creepy Uncle Joe from “Petticoat Junction”, Mr. French from “Family Affair”, Shultz from “Hogan’s Heroes” and finally William Conrad from “Jake and the Fat Man.”  
It was a sobering moment; the group agreed they watched way too much TV Land on cable.  
……………….   
Dean was out gathering mushrooms when an old crone came limping down the path with a twisted branch for a walking stick. She was a pitiful sight, hunched over, frail and sad.  
She passed by Dean who easily caught up to her and struck up a conversation since he was so bored.  
“Hello there crone, what brings you to this part of the forest?”  
She stopped and looked up at the handsome young man giving him a one tooth salute, “I am on my way to the village to sell my special apple.”  
This peaked Deans interest, “Really…what’s so special about it?”  
“Oh it’s the most beautiful apple you have ever seen,” she pulled it out from her cloak and held it up. Dean gasped, it was truly the most beautiful and perfect apple he ever laid eyes on.  
“Could I buy it from you?”  
She held it out and then pointed to the basket of mushrooms, “I’ll make a trade.” Dean happily traded the mushrooms for the apple and the crone hobbled away.  
He took a bite and said “Oh crap” then swooned onto a bed of moss.  
…………..  
Abby changed back into her own form giggling maniacally at the fact she was so clever. She looked in the basket of mushrooms and laughed even harder, “These are all poison, what a dumbass.”  
That was when it struck her if she had let Dean eat the mushrooms all her problems would be solved but the apple would have to suffice.   
When she got back Gabe was waiting to hear the news, “Well did he eat the apple?”  
“Oh yes I’m sure he did. Where is your girlfriend?”  
Gabe wiped a tear from his eye, “We broke up, Meg left me for a funhouse mirror…whore!”  
Abby snapped the compact shut and slipped it in her dressing table drawer, “That’s what you get for picking style over substance.”  
…………….  
The attractive men of short stature carried Dean home and laid him out on the bed. Doc set the apple on the table and examined it, “This has a sleeping curse. The evil queen got to Dean somehow.”  
Bitch cried out, “Oh no, what can we do!”   
Brawny brushed his fingers over Dean’s pouty red lips, “There is only one thing to do, build a glass coffin, stick Dean in there then dump his body in a beautiful meadow and hope a handsome prince stops by to kiss him.”  
Princess looked over the condition of Dean’s dress and pale completion, “I think he needs a spray tan, some makeup and a new outfit.”  
Jack growled, “Spray tan, are you mad? The boy has beautiful, creamy skin. We don’t need to make him look like a pumpkin. I do agree a little makeup and new clothes will make Dean more enticing.”  
So they went to work, Bitch sewed Dean a gown made of sheer, shimmering fabric. It caught the sunlight like tiny jewels and also gave a glimpse of what lay underneath. Humpy bathed Dean brushed his hair and then felt him up before putting him in the beautiful gown and placing his VIRGIN pin on the bodice so everyone knew Dean was prime meat.  
Doc and the rest built the glass coffin and don’t ask how they managed to build such a thing with their limited skills and supplies but like magic there it was. They laid Dean inside, put a jeweled collar around his neck and tucked the SLUT pendent underneath his body where no one could see it.  
Mary Jane then put a wreath of flowers around Dean’s head and declared the prince ready for any worthy male of royal birth to break the curse. They put him in a meadow of wildflowers and waited to see who would take the bait.  
………………  
Sam paced the marble floor of the throne room, King Robert put down his issue of Popular Mechanics, “Do we have to talk in here?”  
Sam pushed open the windows and stuck his head outside to get a breath of fresh air, “We really need to stop calling this the throne room. Father I can’t find Dean anywhere, what should I do?”  
“Have you put any real effort into it?”  
The prince shrugged, “Sort of, I’ve never had to pursue anyone before. Do you have any advice for me?”  
“This is a fairytale son, think this over. He might be under a curse and he needs you to rescue him. You better hop to it Sam because Dean is a fine catch and some other prince will snatch him right up.”  
Sam’s predatory instinct kicked in upon hearing that, “No one gets my virgin but me!”  
The king smacked Sam with his ball cap, “The go get ‘em you idgit!”  
Sam hurried out the door on his quest to save Dean. He had no plan, supplies, a map or any idea where to look but that never stopped Sam from doing anything before.  
……………  
Mary Jane was chewing on a poppy while he watched the coffin, “So far we’ve had a hobo, a monk, several women from the village and a few lesser princes try to open the coffin but they weren’t able.”  
Doc looked at his list, “We also had that pack of B actors on their way to a SAG meeting, the local butcher plus a group of pirates that failed as well.”  
Humpy flopped back in the grass and groaned, “This is sooo boring!”  
Doc pointed excitedly, “Look, a fine male approaches!”  
A black steed rode up carrying a tall, dark and very handsome man. He looked every inch the type of male that could crack the seal on the coffin as well as Dean’s pretty ass.  
…………….  
Sam drove his off road ATV Raptor through the forest looking for Dean, with no plan he followed a blue bird that seemed to be leading him somewhere special. His feathered friend brought him to a meadow then flew off.  
There he saw a glass coffin and a good looking guy trying to pry the lid off it. Sam knew Dean must be in there so he rode over, hopped off and shoved the big man down. “Back off buddy that’s my virgin!”  
A scuffle started and then a full out brawl, in the end the monogamously inclined man with the steady income and good morals decided the hot babe in the coffin wasn’t worth the effort.  
Sam yelled as the stranger rode away, “Yeah that’s what I thought you pussy!”  
……………..  
Princess whispered to the others, “Look everyone, I think this is the prince we have been waiting for.”  
Sam looked at his ethereal Dean through the glass. The dark sweep of lashes against his freckled cheeks, the full red lips and perfect body outlined beneath the gown sent a shiver of anticipation through Sam.  
He tried the latch and it opened easily for him, “Oh Dean I missed you so much.” Sam bent down and laid a big, wet kiss on his pretty prince. Dean’s eyes fluttered open and he was going to speak but now Sam had shoved his tongue into the lax mouth.  
Two big hands roved the supine body squeezing, pinching and prodding until Dean shoved Sam away. “Hey mister handsy knock it off, no sex before marriage.”  
Sam tugged at the crotch of his pants, “Can we elope?”  
“No, I want a big wedding.”  
Sam scooped him up and carried him to the ATV and set Dean on back, “Hang on baby, daddy is gonna take you to meet the folks.”  
……………..  
Once Abby was banished to a place called OZ along with Gabe the magic mirror, Dean felt safe to take back his kingdom and marry his prince.  
The wedding was grand and the reception even grander. Sam was a good boy for the most part and only groped his dance partners bottoms in a good natured way. His bride didn’t find it funny at all and promised a good spanking. That in turn spurred Sam to call it a night, sweep Dean in his arms and hurry out to the waiting coach.  
They went to the kingdom of Winchester with Dean fighting Sam the entire way, “No, I want a proper bed when we make love for the first time now behave!” Sam had Dean’s wedding dress in the air and his knickers down to his ankles trying to breech his virgin hole but Dean was no lightweight and managed to fend him off.  
………  
Sam was hard, nude and waiting for Dean to come out to the bedchamber, “Come on I can’t hold it much longer wife. My erections do have an expiration date you know.”  
Dean sauntered out of the bathroom naked except a rose tucked behind one ear, “So…what do you think?”  
Sam crawled to the edge of the bed, grabbed Dean and flung him to the mattress, “I think in about an hour you can toss that VIRGIN pin away.”  
“It takes a whole hour?!”  
Sam wrenched his brides legs open wide and got a good look at the prize he won, “Wow, very nice. I’m going to have you sit on my face awhile if you don’t mind.”  
And Dean sat enjoying his very first tonguing from a very skilled lover. By the time Sam was done the door to the Winchester vault was ajar and Dean was ready to make a royal heir.  
…………….  
Sam had Dean ride him hard, he dug his fingers into his brides slim hips and assisted. Up, down, up, down until Dean thought he was going to pass out. He didn’t know a man could have such staying power.  
After his bottom was thoroughly broken in and his insides painted with royal seed Sam made Dean lay there still as can be making sure it took. After a few hours Dean grew bored and turned to Sam, “Hey Sammy did we make a baby?”  
“I’m pretty sure; I usually get it on the first try. I pride myself on what strong swimmers I carry. My baby batter is loaded with prime sperm.”  
“Gross.”  
“I love you too Dean.”  
………………  
Dean was pregnant immediately, Sam went around crowing about his fertile wife and wagers were made on the sex and number of babies. The two kingdoms were filled with excitement over the impeding birth of the first royal child.  
Dean stayed in Winchester most of the time tending his bonsai garden and playing the lute.   
Sam traveled back and forth to the Campbell Soup factory; they recently opened a “Light Soup” division for people watching their waistline. Sam posed for the label in a leather loin cloth; his muscles and slim waist highlighted. The slogan was, “Campbell’s Soup, it does a body good.” The disclaimer on the back was, “This soup will not make you look even remotely this hot.”  
…………….  
Dean screamed, “You are never touching me again!” He bore down as the midwives scurried about. Sam held his wife’s hand and blotted the sweat from his brow. “Dean that’s the pain talking, you know I’m going to touch you all the time.”  
“I’m being split in half!”  
Sam checked and the head was crowning, “Dean it’s your first baby…I mean our first baby!”  
One final push and Sam did a fist pump the let out a loud whoop of joy. Dean flopped back on the bed absolutely exhausted. He watched Sam do a little jig of happiness.  
“Let me guess, it’s a boy.”  
“Yeah baby, I am the king maker!”  
……………  
The child was lovely, he looked quite a bit like his father but luckily his demeanor was calm like his mother. They named him Jonathon Robert Campbell, the boy changed Sam dramatically. Now the prince spent much of his time at his adopted kingdom and when he traveled his wife and son came with him. Sam still looked at attractive men of all ages but his heart and penis belonged to Dean exclusively.  
Once Dean lost his baby weight he began posing for his new line of Bootylicious beer flavors. Beyond the traditional that started it all he expanded into types that paired well with canned soups.  
Between their modeling careers, businesses and royal riches the couple were wealthy beyond their wildest dreams. Sam actually started providing for all the children he fathered with the pretty young men that had the opportunity to sample his prowess before he became monogamous.  
Sorta Snow White Dean and Prince Charming Sam were shining examples of the power of true love. They lived happily ever after.  
The End


End file.
